Smoker Rant

I despise Smokers.  That is, people who smoke cigarettes.  Now, mind you, I have some family members who smoke, whom I love, but I still hate that they smoke.  Other than them, most smokers, I despise.

Why?  Because they are stupid.  And obnoxious, and stink. Wasteful. Worst of all, they are ALL inconsiderate.  I have yet to meet one, who is not inconsiderate.

Let’s start from the beginning.  A smoker creates a demand for tobacco.  So, our farmers grow tobacco.  Growing tobacco is bad for soil.  You must use a lot of pesticides, and fertilizers, which are bad for soil, and gets into the water supply.  Wouldn’t if be better if those farmers could grow food, so the world would have more food, or corn, so we would have more gasahol, or whatever we need to grow more of?  By the way, you cannot use “natural” fertilizers, like manure, because it negatively affects the taste of the tobacco.

Making and selling cigarettes is a lucrative business.  Our Government likes to tax them, and organized crime likes to undercut the taxes, and smuggle them. Stolen cigarettes are very easy to move and sell on the black market. Taxes and crime.  Hmmmm.

So, the corner store sells cigarettes.  While they are at it, they also sell lottery tickets, and porn magazines to the same customers.  Stupid customers, who are spending   money they should be spending on something else.  Like, food, rent, and diapers, for instance.  And perhaps some night classes, so they can get a better job.

Now the stupid smoker has bought his cigarettes, and smokes them.  Obviously, he’s harming himself.  Not enough to die quickly, mind you, but they hang on for years, making everyone around them depressed, until they finally die in a pothole of misery. He’s stinking up the air, even when he’s outside.  I’m highly allergic to cigarette smoke, so even mild whiffs make me sick.  When they come back in from their smoke breaks, (which I don’t get, mind you) they stink up the elevator.  Their breath stinks.  Their clothes stink.  Their teeth are yellow.  Smoking makes attractive people ugly, which is bad for the gene pool.  Their voices, raspy, with that hacking nasty cough. The second hand smoke hurts KIDS for God’s sake!  The MOST stupid smokers will even smoke while pregnant!  Talk about a need for retroactive abortions!

But, the worst thing they do, is throw away their cigarette butts on the ground.  Or, toss them out their cars.  Even the most intelligent smokers, who will use the ashtray in their cars, still dump out the ashtray in the parking lot at the grocery store.

In-Con-Siderate!  Cigarette butts are NOT bio-degradable!  They are NOT made of cotton and paper.  They are made of PLASTIC.  They NEVER go away.  The disgusting, saliva covered things are here for the duration of our lives.  They contain a multitude of toxins, which then go straight into our water supplies.

Oh, and tossing your butt out the window, while you are driving?  Starts brushfires.

And the ashes you flick around?  Where do you think dust comes from?  Even the smokers, who come to my house, and are nice enough to go outside for a smoke, still crush their butts and leave them in the street.  I’ve never seen an “outside” smoker throw a crushed butt in the trash.

I have to tell you, I can’t understand how stupid some people can be.  Would you hire a person who smoked?  Why? They are so obviously stupid!  They may be skilled, and they may be intelligent, but that doesn’t make them any less stupid.  Nurses, smoking outside the ER.  People, who, after a lifetime of smoking, have emphasema, and are on bottled oxygen, but still smoke.  Then they blow themselves up, and burn down their house.

Hotels, have to set aside rooms for smokers.  If a hotel is close to full, they ask if you will take an available  “smoking allowed” room.  What are you going to say, “No thanks, I’ll sleep in my car.”?  Now, your trapped for the night with that STENCH.

If you are reading this, and you are a smoker, you deserve to have all the rights that anyone else has. But I’m tellin’ ya, you stink, and plenty of people think you are stupid.

The opinions expressed in this blog, are extreme, and sarcastic, and are subject to change, without notice or logic.   If I have offended you, then you get offended too easily, and should probably try to figure out a way to offend me.  Because your smoking sure does!